Catch Up Time : 26th October 2009

Hello Readers,

Sorry for the very erratic flow of posts since last 4 weeks. Its been a very challenging time since last one month. Challenging physically and mentally, but I would say more mentally. Allow me to explain.

P.S. – What I am about to share may not be interesting to many of you and that’s fine. But I believe there is a lesson to be learn from here and hence the very idea of this post.

Also I am not sure whats my real motive is to write this post. May be its a way to share my experiences and in the process feel lighter within myself, may be its a way to let others know what all can happen out of the blue and be prepared for it. Or it may also end up being amusing or stupid or fun to read what ever follows from here on. Or it may be to find out what you would have done had you been in my place. So any feedback is most welcome.

2nd Oct’09, me and my family moved to another house. Fortunately we found another one in the same area where we were staying before, so there was a comfort of knowing the surroundings against exploring everything from scratch.

Now ironically, the main shifting was a breeze, we had hired professional movers and packers to pack and move the goods and thankfully they stood by their claims of being professional and efficient. But what followed(and still following) has been nothing less than nightmare.

I want to add that the amount of phone calls I had to make in the last month, was equal to the amount of calls I normally make in around 9-12 months. Now you may ask why ! Well read before and you will know why !!

Strike ONE (STRIKE as in Baseball, 3 STRIKES and you are down and out)
To begin with, a day before I was about to move, I called my Phone/Internet Service Provider to take a request for shifting my connection so that my old number remains the same and also I ‘thought’ it would be a faster process against applying a new connection. Alas how wrong I was.

It took 16 harrowing days and 100 calls to get the connection finally set up at my new place.

I would like to mention that on day 15, I was so fed up/frustrated/angry/irritated of this delay which was affecting my other work, I got myself a portable modem which cost me around 3 months of my rental which I pay normally to my Service Provider. The moment I got the modem, it seems as if there was an instant vent up of all my not-so-desirable inner turmoil and I felt so much more relaxed. If only I knew it was just a matter of one more day. Or who knows it was an intentional play of cards by the almighty.

Now the side effects of all this was that I used to be very irritated all day long. The irritation was not entirely because of the delay but because of a lack of concrete response from my Service Provider as to what exactly is the problem and precisely by when can I expect my connection. Everyday whenever I used to call them, they used to say it will be done today, but that today came after 16 days.

Strike TWO
Next came the pain of getting my Air-Conditioner(AC) set up. Now there were two steps in getting it set up. First was to make a provision in my window for the AC to fit in and second was to get the delivery of the AC and getting it fixed by the technicians.

Luckily the AC’s were delivered reasonably on time. It was getting it fixed which turned out to be a long long wait. I called the concerned people to come to my house to take the measurements of my AC and do the needful in the Window. The person said he will be at my place in 15 mins.

Can you imagine that, that 5 mins came after 5 days and 25 calls. Even till date I am unable to find the exact answer as to why it took so much time. All I heard was excuses like “was busy”, “rains”, “weekend came”, “I went on leave” and so on. I mean is work ethic totally dead. And why all this was happening only with me ?

There is more, the person came finally, they took the measurements, they said they will have to make an Aluminum Frame to hold the AC to make sure there are no gaps. I asked how many days, they said 2. I thought I have waited so many days, 2 more days wont hurt. I said ok and requested them to speed up if possible. Now my guess is that the definition of “speed up” for that person was to “take extra time”. The frame came after 4 days !

Fortunately the final installation was done the same day as the frame arrived. Whew, had to wait close to 10 days for a good night sleep in a cool environment.

Strike THREE
Last week while animating on my desktop, suddenly everything went still in my comp, nothing was moving, I tried to restart using Ctrl+Alt+Del, nothing. Tried to reboot directly from CPU, again nothing !!! Finally I had to remove the plug from the main power source to switch it off.

I kept my fingers crossed and started it again. What I dreaded happened. Monitor started blinking with no display whatsoever. Also the lights on the CPU were not blinking which meant nothing was happening in the CPU. I thought may be its one of those times, when suddenly it goes off and suddenly everything comes back to normal. I tried again 3-4 times, no luck. I decided to give it a break and only after few hours, I tried again, but no improvement. Finally I decided to call my Computer Technician from a Computer Vendor(from where I have an Annual Maintenance Contract) and have a look. He came, tried every possible trick he knew, still no luck. Finally he said he will have to remove the motherboard and take it to his testing center to find the exact cause. He said, if the motherboard is fine, it may be a Power Supply problem in which case, next day itself he will get a new Power Supply. But if its the motherboard issue it can take more time. I asked him how many days. He said he cant say until he checks it thoroughly and promised to give me a call next day itself. Now this was Tuesday. Till Friday I didn’t hear anything from him. I called them around 10 in the morning and some stupid operator said that she is aware of my problem and will give me a call back. Till 8 in the evening no call came. I tried calling back but no response, which means they have wrapped it for the day.

I called them the next day and blasted the hell out of them. They promised to call back. Finally after a few hours, the owner(of the company who had my Annual Maintenance Contract) themselves called, apologizing like a criminal pleading for mercy and said they will give me a replacement the same day. Saturday passed, Sunday passed and no replacement came.

Then today I thought enough is enough its time to take some real action. I called them and threaten to cancel all my Contracts I had given them thru various sources. In addition to this I told them to give me my motherboard back as they were too useless to repair it and that I shall get it fixed by somewhere else. They said to kindly wait for one last time and that they will call me in 15 mins to tell me the exact date when I will get my motherboard. They called in 10 minutes and said that on Wednesday they will surely come and fix my motherboard. Now I really don’t know whether they will stand by their word or again one of their empty promises, but I am really hoping that they do, as its been close to 8 days, all my animating and other work has been on hold and I am feeling like a new born baby, totally helpless to do anything.

Now is this really a co-incidence that I was been served by pathetic customer service on and on with no end in sight ?? Or is it that God wanted to test my patience and my character ??

But one good thing happened, because of my desktop crashed I was forced to tackle my laptop problem which I have been ignoring for a long long time. My laptop had problem of bad sectors in the hard disk and shutting off automatically and abruptly at no particular interval of time. I got a new hard disk and also fixed the problem of shutting down abruptly. Apparently there was some issue of Thermal Sensors on the CPU. Whatever that means !

FOUR (its not really a STRIKE)
On hindsight may be this is the problem which is making me over-react to the above strikes. Since we moved in, I have applied to a few places(in my city) to offer my services as a 3D Character Animator. Its been almost a month and no replies yet. I understand these things takes time, but is it too much to ask even for some notification, whether yes or no. If its Yes I can jump with joy and even if its No, I will at-least know whats working and whats not and get on to tackling those issues. Some one has said “no news is great news” but here in this case its definitely not doing me any good. I sometimes really wonder, some things/actions/events just cannot be explained in human simply understandable terms.

Now you may be wondering what is the lesson behind all this. For me it is :

1. Things wont be hunky dory all your life. Regardless of how good life is going for you, there will be times when nothing, nothing at all seems to work. Thinking otherwise is being extremely naive !

2. You can never have enough patience because how much ever you feel you are cool and composed, there will be events that will just freak you out and drain all your patience.

3. Every event good or bad is an experience.

4. There IS a reason why anything is happening in your life.

5. To practice letting go. To not revel in good things/event for long and to not drool over not so good things/events for long.

6. To not judge any event, just savor it in the present moment and take it as it comes. The definition of good or bad is nothing but your viewpoint at work.

7. Never never never give up. I will be very forthcoming, this time in my life has tested me the most. But I am determined to not let it get the better of me. I will keep going regardless of what happens. If I have to walk against very strong winds, so be it.

8. Find your own avenues in these trying times, which can make you relax a bit and get distracted from all the negatives. For me its being with myself. When I am alone and quiet I feel my batteries recharging. Introspecting is a very powerful tool. Try it.

9. Appreciate the presence of your near and dear ones in your life. Without doubt I have been in the worst of my moods and behavior in the last one month than I have ever been in my whole life. But I am thankful to my parents for their undying love and support all the while despite my erratic mood swings and temper. I am convinced God made parents because he couldn’t be everywhere at the same time.

10. When you are at the very low of your life, see the good part, the only way you can go from here on is UP ! I absolutely feel the same currently.

Before I get deeply engrossed in emotional talk, its seems prudent to wrap this post up. I really don’t know what made me write and share all this with the world at large. But I am feeling a lot better, bringing all this up and sharing with you.

If you have anything to share in the context of this post – be it your experiences of testing times, be it advise/suggestions for me, be it about how you would have handled it if you where in my position, please feel very free to do the same.

Thank You !

@|b

"Rules"

Came across this fantastic post on this blog – Temple Of The Seven Gold Camels, about “Rules” in any creative endeavor and specially as artists in the field of film-making/animation.

It discusses what rules are, what people think of rules, how rules DOESN’T limit your creativity but rather enhances it, when and why it should be broken and so on.

Absolutely must read for any artists in general and specially for those who feel “rules” restrict them from achieving their full creative potential.

@|b

Do You Really Really Want It ?

I came across this article on AWN which offers advise to help you focus on your goals, decisions and choices ! The author is Pamela Kleibrink Thompson who is a regular columnist on these topics and knows what she is talking about.

Must read for anyone looking to make their life more meaningful.

My extended views – Recession in the Indian Animation industry?!! Don’t press the panic button just as yet.

Below are my extended views on the post i came across on this blog.

So if you haven’t yet read the original post(including the comments) , i seriously suggest you do that before to understand what i am talking about and in what context.

So now, once you know whats the topic is all about, read further to know what i feel about the whole issue.

Totally agree with Rama and Rishikesh. They made some good points. Here is my few minutes worth of thoughts -

Without sounding too harsh or pessimistic, i think the very question of “whether we can make films like PIXAR or better than PIXAR” which is being asked in Indian studios/forums/events should be avoided from with immediate effect.

Such a question is deserving to studios say like BlueSky, Dreamworks and so on and not to us….at least not yet !

Enthusiasm, passion, optimism is all fine, but lets be realistic. I am hearing such questions since about last 3-4 years of my time spent in the industry. Have things changed dramatically ? Have we covered a lot of ground and being closer to PIXAR ?

If we have moved ahead by 10 steps, PIXAR has moved ahead 1000 steps or even more. My point is this comparison is so very ir-relevant in our context. A fresher who is doing some course in Animation, comes to events where this question is repeatedly asked, hears the “YESSES” from everyone and thinks – “wow, so many YESSSES from so many people…we must be good, this is the field i want my career for…i should soon start sending my stuff to studios for work, this is my chance to be a part of this” !

Clearly the awareness of how an animation feature is made, how much goes into it is clearly clearly missing. PIXAR is not some studio who churns out breakthrough movies consistently…its PIXAR after all ! Try to understand the gravity of their work !

Yes story is essential but more than that its an amalgamation of story, teamwork, attitude, management, planning, passion…just to name a few factors.

The problem is that where Indians shine, India fails. As individuals we work our best, but collaboratively we work worst. I dont even want to go behind whats the reason for this…its a different and much deeper issue alltogether.

So please for your own sake, stop these comparisons, let us aspire to first improve our work with each passing year. Remember PIXAR is also constantly re-inventing itself, so if we have to match PIXAR, we will have to work much more than PIXAR does each moment. And its not just one movie from PIXAR which did well, they been doing it consistently for so many years !

So the question of “whether we can match PIXAR or even overtake them ” …the answer clearly is NO, sometime in future ? MAYBE. You can interpret my answer in anyway you wish…you may think i am a pessimist, you may think why i am so against our work and so on. Its good to aspire, good to have a goal, but we need to be realistic and honest to ourselves also. Its time to be as objective as a doctor is when he treating someone. Patient will only be cured if all the facts are presented the way it is and not the way the patient wants it to be.

If you ask me -

1. Whether we can create animated movies which are really entertaining and really good in terms of animation and overall story and subject wise ?

2. Whether we have the talent ?

3. Whether we have a market for indian animated films much like live-action movies?

4. Whether we can really improve our animated prowess with passing time ?

5. Whether we can create something which we can be proud of ?

The answer to all of the above is – YES !!!

All we need is a different approach. We really need a new spirit, in the same fashion as what US is feeling now, with Barack Obama who will be at the helm of the affairs from 20 January 2009 !

Why No Involvement….What Are We So Occupied With…

I have been thinking of this since quite sometime and the more i think the more i fail to understand. Ok, now before you give up to understand what i am talking about and leave my blog i will get to the point -

Why there is so less activity/involvement of artists based in India, in the online forums, blogs, etc ? Now since my field of interest is Animation, I may be speaking more about Animators, but i am sure even other areas like Modeling, Rigging, Lighting and so on, the forums are not filled with 1000 of artists and their posts all sharing their passion and knowledge of their art.

Now everybody is talking about India when the topic of “hot spots” for animation is discussed, but where is the collective effort. I don’t see any collaborative effort happening anywhere among the artists anywhere. As an artist sharing knowledge, discussing art and emerging technologies, getting feedback on their work and giving on others, bouncing ideas, conversing about the animation in general is of paramount importance and it makes sure the artist is growing everyday. The day any artist doesn’t learn anything every single day or if they feel they know everything he/she is virtually dead. And if anyone working in the industry feels that why bother when i have a full time job, i am able to pay my bills, thats all it matters. Well to this i feel sorry for that person. He cant be further from truth and decency be damned, he/she will and should regret for this pathetic attitude. Some one said -

Where INDIA fails INDIANS shine.

As an individual Indians are fantastic. We are good at work to an extent, can get a job and survive at that too but where team work comes, no one is interested. Why should i share the knowledge with others….only to let him succeed higher than me !!! Whether you agree or not, this type of attitude is not uncommon. I am no way generalizing, but it definitely exists. You agreeing or not agreeing or simply shrugging off cannot change the fact.

Now its not my intention to blame the artists. My point is thanks to technology and the online world, the amount of possibilities which have opened is tremendous. So much is being discussed in the online world and that too for free, its fantastic. Blogs are a terrific way to reach out to so many people thru out the world. Animation is such a vast field to learn out both technically and creatively, it only makes that much more sense that we share our experiences with others, grow and learn from it.

So far i have worked in 3 studios, animation being a small industry, many of my friends i had, also moved to studios as i did and out of these 3 studios, 2 of them are the among the biggest in India(head count wise). But not a single person i know is active on any of the forums or has a blog !!! Yes it may sound “whats the big deal” to many, but its shocking ! I was lucky enough to have worked with fantastic people but its sad to know that they have stayed away from the online world till now. They can contribute and share so much and in return also learn so much. I have asked many people about this and all they say is “where is the time” ! I mean come on, how can you not have time to gain more knowledge about something which at the end of the day is getting you a salary and paying your bills. If this is not complacency then we need to re-define the word to a new meaning.

You ask 10 people working in the animation industry and i can vouch for you that hardly 1-2 or not even that also, will be happy with the state of affairs going around them. Everyone cribs, but no one wants to do anything about it. People have seem to have forgotten that Animation is all about having fun. Ok i may have oversimplified it, people do need money for paying their bills, but if we don’t worry about the money factor each time we set a key on a frame and just think about having fun and giving your best, i can guarantee you money will come. You put your best, honest and sincere efforts in your work and there is no way that you wont be rewarded for it. And the excuse of not having time is just an excuse and that too very very cliche. We speak everyday about avoiding cliche in our work, atleast try to get a new excuse for starters. People have time to spend on Orkut and Facebook and what not, but they don’t have time to read about something which is affecting or can affect them in their future and which can be so helpful for their own good in the long term.

I think the problem lies in the way our perception is towards the vocation called Animation. Here everyone perceives it like a 9-5 job. You go to work, sit on your desk in isolation, do your scenes, go for coffee breaks and crib about deadlines and less salary, come back again stay isolated and so on and then in the evening shut down your system and head back home. Next day the same thing is repeated. If this is how you want to spend your life, why not join a bank or something like that. This is no way the workday of an animator and how it should be. Whenever people ask me what i do and when i say “Animation”, their eyes just lit up. They feel so excited about my line of work. Just imagine their dismay if i tell them whats the day at work for an animator. This is definitely not animation. By living such a life, we are doing so much injustice to this beautiful vocation and missing out on the real fun part of being an Animator or being a part of the Animation fraternity.

Animation is all about team work. Discussing the scenes, discussing how best a particular emotion can be portrayed, asking your peers to look at your work-in-progress and see whats working and whats not and in return doing the same for them. By doing all this we are opening ourselves to so many different ideas and at the end each one of us learns something new and which gets reflected in the final output. I don’t think we even care what the person sitting next to us is even doing. Sitting on your warm chair all day and doing your work is not Animation my friend. Animation is to see, absorb, feel, experience whatever is going around you and then try to use that to the best of your ability. If every scene of yours feels the same why will anyone come and see your work. If you have nothing new to offer, why animate. If you have to animate a person who is walking and is very happy, how would you do it sincerely..just by focusing on your screen all day long ??? I don’t think so… get up from your chair, observe your friends, observe if some one is happy, see how they walk, observe the nuances when a person is happy. We do have imagination, but its limited to our own experiences. To expand that we need to stretch it more, see more, observe more. Imagination wont grow on its own. It needs to be nourished, it needs to be tested. Like a bird cant fly in a cage similarly by limiting ourselves to our chair and our screen we are loosing our ability to let our creativity fly.

Agree we all are busy with deadlines, loans, worries, families, kids, wives, girl friends and so on…but so what. Cant you spend time to attain and learn new things about your chosen field of work. I am not saying forget everything and be online 24 hours, but at least once a day or once a week or even once a month, you can share your experiences, help others who are new to this field, i am sure even you will learn many new things along the way. Being animators is not like doing business, where each step needs to be guarded so as not to let our rivals know of our plans. We need to be free mentally to put the best in our work. We need to let go of our apprehensions, our inhibitions, our ability to take every criticism personally(inflated egos is a big problem nowadays) and maintain a healthy atmosphere which will be conducive to creativity.

Strength can be shown in two ways – either by pushing others down or by pulling others up.

How about using the latter?

Think about it !